I didn't drive a cool car. I didn't date the homecoming queen. I wasn't voted most likely to succeed. And in fact, last I heard the people that were perceived at the top of the food chain back in high school are now being investigated (or have already been arrested) for fraud and/or still the same vapid jerks that they were ten years ago.

In fact, the same tight knit groups of friends that I considered close to me are still extremely close to me and we keep in constant touch. Especially with the advent of Facebook, I've been able to keep up with their lives pretty consistently and don't quite feel the distance that necessitates a reunion.

The fact of the matter is that I did my best to maneuver through high school without creating much of an impression, I was a chameleon, blended into the background, and that's exactly the way that I wanted it.

So what other reasons would I have to go back to Ponderosa High School and see if I can still recall my locker combination?

Let me run down the list of most common arguments and negate them to the best of my ability...

1. I Might Actually Have a Chance with One or All of My High School Crushes - This one is pretty easy to take care of, they're all married and in fact, all of them also have awesome husbands with beautiful kids. Next?

2. To Show Off How Successful I've Become And Make Everyone Jealous - Wasn't that every morning where people would speed into the parking lot in their brand new Mustangs and peacock their way into first period? Why would I want that role reversal now? And besides, my success is nowhere near jealousy inducing... yet.

3. As a Social Experiment to See Who Got Fat, Who's Still Together, Who's Still a Dbag - Not really into all of that. And if I were, I'd be as big of a jerk as the people that I still resent. Right?

4. To Tell Stories and Recollect Nostalgia For the Past - Honestly if that were the case, I'd much rather have a reunion with all of the good folks at Franktown Elementary (and ABC Kids before that) which I have fonder memories and far more stories of. In fact, if someone told me that they were arranging a reunion of Franktown teachers and students, I wouldn't even hesitate and would not be sitting here writing this unintentionally cranky sounding blog - in fact, I'd already have a plane ticket booked.

5. To Have a Drink or Two with People That I Haven't Spoken To In Person in a Long While - Awesome, let's do it! Just nowhere near Ponderosa and nowhere near other people.


I guess the simple fact is that I'm really not all that nostalgic (yet, I'll leave the door open) for high school and I can't really figure out why I would be. I drive past the high school every time I head back to Colorado and, when looking at the brightly lit neon announcement and messages sign, don't really get misty-eyed like I do when I drive past Franktown Elementary and see the field where the obstacle course used to be. I don't exactly long for the days of sitting in freshman English being told that I'll never amount to much of anything the way that I long to be sitting in Mr. O's PE class watching Katie shoot free throws to ensure that we don't have to run more laps.

The only other way that I can equate it, is that over Christmas my mom told me they reduced Parker Vista Middle School to a heap of rubble...

...and I actually chuckled.

I really am just a cranky old man already. Oh well. Put that in the reunion program for everyone to see and talk about... at least it'll give 'em something.